Health Smart sponsored by First 5 California – Statistics show that about 30 million men in the US suffer from sexual health issues often in silence but doctors say there are signs to look out for and test to keep up with.
Every relationship has its ups and downs and sometimes, a relationship can be taken for granted. To maintain and sustain a happy and healthy relationship, it’s important to recognize ahead of time what problems might be causing your relationship some issues so that you both have a better chance of getting past them.
Even though there are bound to be bumps in your relationship, successful couples have learned how to manage any problem areas and keep their love life going strong. Lots of couples manage their relationship with guidance from self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other couples they admire, or simply by trial and error. Let’s take a look at the common relationship issues and how to best resolve them.
Lack of communication: All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families. “You can’t communicate while you’re checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section,” she says.
- Make an appointment, something you actually mark in your respective calendars, to talk to each other. Put the cell phones away, put the kids to bed, and eliminate any other distractions. Find a quiet place in the house away from the TV and have an honest, open talk.
- If you can’t communicate without raising your voices, go to a public spot like a library or a restaurant where you’re forced to be quiet or don’t want to embarrass yourselves.
- Set rules and guidelines for your talk. Don’t interrupt until each partner is through and don’t start with phrases like “you always” or “you never.”
- Look at each other in the eyes. Don’t doodle or look away. Use body language to show you’re listening – nod or rephrase if needed.
Loss of sex drive: Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up, Fay says. “Sex,” she says, “brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy.”
- Plan. If it helps, make an appointment but not when you’re both tired and know that you’ll be working long hours.
- Change things up. Meet for lunch but make it sex instead lunch and have sex in a different area of the house.
- Plan a romantic night in. Figure out what each of you like, create a list of what turns you on, and plan to target each area for a fun night in.
Money woes: Money is probably one of the biggest relationship problems and this problem can start even before the relationship begins. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.
- Be honest about your current financial situation. If things are going south, it might be time to change up your life style.
- Acknowledge who’s the saver and spender in the relationship. Understand that there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other.
- Don’t hide any income or debt. Bring all financial documents, including recent credit reports, pay stubs and bank statements to the table for an honest, open talk about your finances.
- Take a deep breath and don’t place any blame. Listen to your partner’s woes and figure out a plan to save more money and pay off any debt.
Household Chores: When both partners are working outside of the home, the last thing they want to do is continue working when they get home. However, it’s important to maintain a clean home for a healthy lifestyle.
- Make a list of all the chores and divide them up. If that doesn’t work, trade off on who does what each day and week to make it easier to manage.
- Be open to other solutions. If you both hate cleaning, and have room in your budget, hire a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework more than the other, the other person can be responsible for something else like grocery shopping, yard work, or whatever you both decide on.
Lack of trust: Trust is a key part of a relationship and it can be lost and gained so easily so it’s important to focus on making trust a main part your relationship.
Here are some ways to maintain trust in your relationship:
- Be consistent
- Be on time
- Do what you say you will do
- Don’t lie – even white lies can be harmful
- Be fair, even in an argument
- Be sensitive to your partner’s feelings
- Call when you say you will
- Call when you’ll be late
- Carry your fair share of the workload
- Don’t overreact when things start to go wrong
- Don’t dig up old wounds
- Respect boundaries
- Don’t be jealous
- Be a good listener
Problems in relationship can come and go however if you encounter these common relationship issues, don’t overlook them – it could cost you your relationship.
No matter what they tell you – dating can be stressful especially after a long term relationship or a divorce. It’s not as easy as getting her number and going for a nice night out. It can be downright nerve wracking and even scary. People often say “it’s just like riding a bike” or “getting back up on the horse again.” However, the dating scene is like a whole new world. You have to take things slow and easy so here are some tips to ease the transition and hopefully take some of the edge off so that you can get back out there again.
Slow and steady wins the race: The most important thing to remember is to take it easy. Don’t rush out and get a boat load of numbers and set up some random dates. You’ll overwhelm yourself and frustrate the women you’re with. Instead, feel the vibe and ask around. It’s OK to go on a date and just see how it feels. It doesn’t even have to be anything serious. As long you’re both having fun, you won’t feel any pressure.
Freshen Up: After a long term relationship, you’ve probably let some things slide because of the misery you’ve been in. Now’s the perfect time to go back to the gym, get a haircut, or indulge in some retail therapy. When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you attract people.
Don’t go into details: When you start dating again, you’re probably wondering if you should divulge a few details about your past. Don’t talk about your experiences with someone new right away. Leave all that to your friends or parents. You probably don’t want to hear about her ex either and it’s not a good idea to talk about yours especially if it was a bitter end.
Talk to your single friends: One of the hardest parts about dating is finding someone to date. If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you start to feel rusty. Rather than getting nervous or feeling insecure, talk to your single friends. Get a few different perspectives that you’ll feel comfortable following.
Get out there: Dates won’t fall at your doorstep no matter how attractive you are so get out there again. Meetup.com is a great place to start if you’re not into dating sites. You can look for groups that cater to your interests, join up, and starting meeting new people.
Put the word out: We don’t mean create a craigslist ad but let your friends, family and neighbors know that you’re back on the market and what you’re looking for. You never know who they might know.
Have fun: Last but not least, don’t forget to have fun. Dating can be fun if you pick the right people and if you’re ready for it. It’s one step closer to your recovery process and helps you move forward in a positive and healthy way.
Breaking up is hard to do. Most couples would rather stay in a relationship than deal with breaking up, moving on, and dating again. While the chance of meeting someone new and dating can have its thrills, it can also be heart breaking and overwhelming. During a relationship, we give our time, money, and most importantly, our hearts. These emotions and commitments are more valuable that we often give them credit for – and it’s not that easy to get them back.
Breaking up requires a lot of effort. However, it’s important to take a look at your relationship as a whole and recognize if things aren’t going right, it may be time to move on. Is the relationship causing more harm than good? Let’s look at some things that might help determine if you should break up or make up.
Talk about your childhood: If you’re always fighting, it might be time to see if there’s something in your subconscious, an unresolved childhood issue that’s causing you to act out. Discuss the good, bad, and the dysfunctional. Where is the problem coming from and can you mend it? If you both discover that there’s some emotional baggage that might need to be unloaded, you’ll be able to resolve that issue and hopefully move on.
Work on one problem at a time: Chances are, if you’ve been with someone long enough, you’re bound to find something that annoys you. At first, you might be able to shake this off but over time, you might bottle it up and without knowing it, lash out on your partner. Be honest with yourself. Do you hate that she takes too long to get ready? Is she taking up too much space in your bathroom or closet? Work with your partner to make a list of the things that annoy you both. Each week, work to tackle one item on the list. You might notice that it helps relieve some tension and stress in the relationship.
Deal with your relationship deal breakers: We all have expectations when we enter a relationship.” I won’t date her if she does x, y, and z.” etc. You might also have lifestyle deal breakers like kids, where to live, and personal habits. Did you both enter a relationship fully aware of each other deal breakers and now, there’s suddenly a shift that you’re not comfortable with?
The most popular relationship deal breakers are children, work, and addictions. She might want kids and you might not be ready, or your job is changing and she doesn’t want to move with you, or either one of you have suddenly picked up a substance abuse problem that is becoming an issue. In these cases, it’s important to sit down and have an honest conversation to see if any of these problems can be resolved and worked through or if you both need to go your separate ways so that you can lead the lives you want.
Sweating the small stuff: This goes back to working on one problem at a time. Even though, you might have resolved to work on each other’s issue, some people are just negative and will refuse to change no matter what the issue may be. If you’re working on your issues, but your partner refuses to change or continues to complain, it might be time to move on.
Do you really want it to work? Last but not least, do some soul searching. Most people say, when they’re truly in love, they see a future with their partner beyond the problems. They see more than just the present and can envision being with them for the long run and perhaps, even proposing and marrying the one they’re with. If you’ve lost that feeling and no longer get excited when you see your partner, it might be time break up vs. make up but if you still see the sun, moon, and stars despite everything, it’s worth the struggle and fight.
Since the early 1980s, intracavernous pharmacotherapy (ICP) has been prescribed by physicians as the most effective and fast-acting treatment for erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE). It has a proven track record for being the most reliable way for men to achieve rigid and lasting erections. It is also especially helpful for men taking nitrates for chest pain who are unable to take erectile dysfunction pills.
Who Shouldn’t have Intracavernous Pharmacotherapy (ICP)?
Almost all men can use ICP for erectile dysfunction since it’s locally applied and doesn’t counteract with other medications. For safety purposes with all medications, you should consult a physician to evaluate if ICP is the best treatment for you.
Does ICP Help Men with Premature Ejaculation (PE)?
Intracavernous pharmacotherapy helps men overcome premature ejaculation. In fact erections subside only after the medication wears off allowing men to remain erected even after ejaculation in order to continue satisfying their partners. ICP injection allows men to achieve sexual satisfaction after repeated successful sexual encounter. It also helps them feel confident and dissipates their anxiety during sexual intercourse. The reduction in anxiety can help men completely overcome premature ejaculation even without the help of ICP.
Why Not Just Take Erectile Dysfunction Pills?
For about 30% of men reported suffering from erectile dysfunction, pills aren’t an option as an ED treatment because it counteracts with their medications. Intracavernous pharmacotherapy has no counter actions and is locally applied so men can have it even under medication. According to the World Journal of Urology, ICP treatment is effective no matter what the cause of a particular patient’s ED, “erections were achieved in 97.2% of patients with neurogenic impotence [Erectile dysfunction caused by nerve problems], 81.6% of those with vascular impotence [blood flow-related] and 100% of patients with psychogenic [psychological ED] and hormonal impotence.”
Another reason why ICP is a popular alternative to pills is that it’s fast-acting. ED pills can take up to 30 minutes to produce an erection whereas ICP injections can have men ready for sex in as fast as 5 minutes. It allows for people to be spontaneous with their sexual encounters instead of waiting for the medication to take effect. Indeed, intracavernous pharmacotherapy is the key treatment for erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.