Relationship And Sex

‘Tis the season. Fall is fast approaching and you’re looking for a cuddle buddy to warm you up during those chilly months.  If you’re up and running on those dating sites to find the one, now’s the time to check and see if the photos you’re posting are up to par and getting you the results you need.

Post a Group Shot: A group shot proves you’re not lonely and desperate. It also shows you have a life, an active interest in anything besides hooking up, and that you look good in a crowd. If you’re surrounded by good looking people, your attractiveness level increases. This is something our brains decide subconsciously. Post a fun photo and make sure you look good, your eyes aren’t closed, and it doesn’t look like you’ve had a few too many.

A headshot facing left: Besides having a nice headshot as your main photo, post a photo of you facing left without sunglasses, a hat or anything obstructing your face. For some reason, the left side of your face is more attractive than your right and if you’ve got a few of those, go ahead and put them on up.

From the waist up: Don’t fill your profile with selfies, headshots, and other close range shots. People also want to see what the rest of you looks like so they can get an idea of body type, your length, etc. If they’re looking for something in particular – good physique, a well built frame, etc., a photo from the waist up will give them an idea of that. Make sure the photo is recent. Don’t post a photo from a few years ago that shows you at your best if you’re now a few pounds heavier – your date will be disappointed when she finally meets you.

A smile: Post a photo of you smiling, preferably showing teeth. People want to connect with someone who’s positive and happy – they also want to know what your teeth look like and if you take care of yourself. It doesn’t have to be a toothy grin but something with a smile, slightly showing teeth, will get you some good views and maybe even a match.

Getting over your ex, and moving on, is one of the biggest dilemmas when it comes to manhood, dating, and relationships. It’s rarely ever a quick and easy process and it gets even more complicated the more you two spend time together. Perhaps, the most frustrating thing about the whole process, regardless of what happened to end it, is that it can be hard to bury all those feelings and move on with your life.

However, you can’t let the past hold you back forever. She’s an ex for a reason and it’s time to move on. Let’s take a look at what it takes to move on and get back in the game.

Sleep with another girl: One night stands aren’t taboo. They’re real and everyone needs their fix now and again. A foolproof method for getting over your ex is to sleep with another girl. It feels good and it’s the best way to immediately get your ex out of your system. One of the reasons we go back to the ex is because we worry we won’t find someone new and that sends us crawling back to the old and familiar.

Enjoy your freedom: you’re no longer committed, you can do anything you want – so go out and enjoy it. Stay out late, meet new people (preferably women), and do all the things you couldn’t do while you were dating her. Staying busy keeps you away from stray thoughts about the ex.

Remember the bad times: It’s common to think about the good times while you’re out and about doing your thing. You’ll be reminded of something and suddenly you’ll miss her all over again. Instead of focusing on the good things, focus on the bad – the fights, the problems, and everything she did to make you resent her.

Hang out with friends: One of the things you sacrifice when you’re in a relationship is time with friends. Girlfriends are time bandits, always greedy for your attention, however now that you’re single, you can reconnect with your buddies and get some needed therapy.

Workout: Now that the ex isn’t taking up your day, go get back in shape. Hit the gym or take a jog. It’s a healthy way to relieve stress and get past post-break frustration. Working out means you’ll be getting back into shape which means you’ll look good and when you look good, you feel good. Plus, who knows who you’ll meet.

Flirting can be considered an art or a whole different language. Either way, it’s a skill and something that can be mastered so you don’t come across as the jerk or the awkward weirdo loner.

If you want to learn to flirt like a pro, you have to know the signs. Follow our tips and practice until you become an expert.

Have an opening line. This is your way in so find a reason to talk to her. If you’re standing in line behind her, ask about what’s going on, remark about the weather, or something you noticed. Get creative, and be ready for whatever she says. If you can’t think of something to say, a compliment will work (see our tips on that below).

Make eye contact. If you don’t make eye contact, you’ll look bored or uninterested. After all, you’re flirting to be with her and hopefully, make her yours so this is important. Too shy to look her in the eyes? Look at the spot right between her eyes and it’ll look like eye contact to her.

Come up with a compliment. Pick one thing that you like about the way she looks and make sure it’s something sincere – it could be her hair, her smile or something she’s wearing. Let her know, in a friendly way, how much you like it. It’ll make her feel good and open up to you.

Smile. If you throw her a sly smile while locking eyes with her, she’ll get butterflies for sure and be a little light on her feet. Don’t get crazy with the smile though. Keep it light and smile often – showing her you’re interested, curious, and that you like talking to her.

Flirt with your body. The body language you use while flirting is just as important as what you say. Use good posture, point your body toward her, and try to find excuses to touch her.

Keep it light and fun. You’ll get a better response if you keep the conversation fun and light and filled with happy stuff. The point of flirting isn’t to bare your soul or share your honest opinions about everything. It’s to open the door, get the girl, and lots more down the road.

Practice makes perfect. It doesn’t hurt to practice on strangers, even if you’re not interested in them. You just might make someone’s day and you never know what could happen. Practice helps you learn what works and what doesn’t, especially if you practice on different types of women. All this practice will help you refine your skills so you can use that expertise on the one you’re really trying to target.

Every relationship has its ups and downs and sometimes, a relationship can be taken for granted. To maintain and sustain a happy and healthy relationship, it’s important to recognize ahead of time what problems might be causing your relationship some issues so that you both have a better chance of getting past them.

Even though there are bound to be bumps in your relationship, successful couples have learned how to manage any problem areas and keep their love life going strong. Lots of couples manage their relationship with guidance from self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other couples they admire, or simply by trial and error. Let’s take a look at the common relationship issues and how to best resolve them.

Lack of communication:  All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families. “You can’t communicate while you’re checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section,” she says.

• Make an appointment, something you actually mark in your respective calendars, to talk to each other. Put the cell phones away, put the kids to bed, and eliminate any other distractions. Find a quiet place in the house away from the TV and have an honest, open talk.
• If you can’t communicate without raising your voices, go to a public spot like a library or a restaurant where you’re forced to be quiet or don’t want to embarrass yourselves.
• Set rules and guidelines for your talk. Don’t interrupt until each partner is through and don’t start with phrases like “you always” or “you never.”
• Look at each other in the eyes. Don’t doodle or look away. Use body language to show you’re listening – nod or rephrase if needed.

Loss of sex drive:  Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up, Fay says. “Sex,” she says, “brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy.”

• Plan. If it helps, make an appointment but not when you’re both tired and know that you’ll be working long hours.
• Change things up. Meet for lunch but make it sex instead lunch and have sex in a different area of the house.
• Plan a romantic night in. Figure out what each of you like, create a list of what turns you on, and plan to target each area for a fun night in.

Money woes: Money is probably one of the biggest relationship problems and this problem can start even before the relationship begins. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.

• Be honest about your current financial situation. If things are going south, it might be time to change up your life style.
• Acknowledge who’s the saver and spender in the relationship. Understand that there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other.
• Don’t hide any income or debt. Bring all financial documents, including recent credit reports, pay stubs and bank statements to the table for an honest, open talk about your finances.
• Take a deep breath and don’t place any blame. Listen to your partner’s woes and figure out a plan to save more money and pay off any debt.

Household Chores: When both partners are working outside of the home, the last thing they want to do is continue working when they get home. However, it’s important to maintain a clean home for a healthy lifestyle.

• Make a list of all the chores and divide them up. If that doesn’t work, trade off on who does what each day and week to make it easier to manage.
• Be open to other solutions. If you both hate cleaning, and have room in your budget, hire a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework more than the other, the other person can be responsible for something else like grocery shopping, yard work, or whatever you both decide on.

Lack of trust: Trust is a key part of a relationship and it can be lost and gained so easily so it’s important to focus on making trust a main part your relationship.

Here are some ways to maintain trust in your relationship:

• Be consistent
• Be on time
• Do what you say you will do
• Don’t lie – even white lies can be harmful
• Be fair, even in an argument
• Be sensitive to your partner’s feelings
• Call when you say you will
• Call when you’ll be late
• Carry your fair share of the workload
• Don’t overreact when things start to go wrong
• Don’t dig up old wounds
• Respect boundaries
• Don’t be jealous
• Be a good listener

Problems in relationship can come and go however if you encounter these common relationship issues, don’t overlook them – it could cost you your relationship.